It's happened four times in my life now that I can count. The first time was the day my firstborn came into the world. To be exact, it was while I waited to hear those first cries. You know, you've been there, after the final painful push and you know she has arrived finally into the world. You just wait...wait for it. And until you hear those cries, your world stops.
The second time was when I married my soul mate. I adore my husband and right there in front of the tiny circle of wedding guests, time stopped. It happened as I waited for him to say "I do". For a moment I was scared that he might not and time halted ever so briefly.
The other two times only occurred after the birth of Eslea.
And now, I bring you to the fourth and most recent suspension of time in my life. A few days ago we went back to the cardiologist for our continuing every 4 week checkup. This time they did a more recent ultrasound. The last being done on the day she was born. And that's where it happened. Right there in the ultrasound room while the tech was cuddling my precious close to her own chest while doing the scan. I watched the screen and saw her heart...right there. My baby's heart beating and trying so hard to keep on doing so. I saw the mixing of the blood through that very large hole of hers. At the same time, I looked at her so tiny in someone elses' arms knowing that broken heart was just underneath the surface...and it happened again..time stopped. This time I couldn't focus and I couldn't wait for it to start back on it's own. I had to leave the room, forcing time back into my reality.
That day we found out some rather disheartening news. Baby Eslea does not have two holes in her heart like the doctors originally thought, she has three. Worst of all, one of those holes (the VSD) takes up almost 70% of her wall. Her tiny little lungs are failing and she has to have surgery before she is 6 months. Now, we are praying for weight gain because she is still under ten pounds. The bigger the baby , the better the chances of a successful surgery.
On that note and to lighten the mood just a little bit...
I have some hopeful signs of baby leg pudge! Yep! The baby fat is right there, I can see it, just waiting to join us for some serious baby fat squeezin'.
Some fun things from this week:
A little girl who dreams of being a fairy princess...
...with the ability to use magic on her unsuspecting little baby sister.
Finally, the sweetest of four year olds making herself even sweeter while examining the candy overload and other goodies she acquired just by flashing her pearly whites at every passing float in the parade.
|(Yep, the beads and dollar were part of the haul too.)|