Happy Mothers Day

Like most everyone else, I planned this really long post about my mother and my mother in law. How wonderful they are to have raised such stubborn and independent people as Jason and I. Yet today, that is not the post I want to make.
Because today, I'm just ....thankful.
Thankful for Emma...

Thank you Emma for making me a mother.
I never knew what depths of love were possible until you came into my world.

Thankful for Eslea....

Thank you Eslea for letting me be your mother.
I never knew how broad my band of love could stretch until you entered this world.


To quote myself from my Special Needs link:
"One of the first things people say to you when they find out you are the parent of a special needs child is 'God chooses only very special people to be their parents'. Do I believe this? I don't know. Most likely, I don't. It's hard to believe that any one person would be chosen over another to raise such a special child.
What I do know is this...the moment Eslea was born, I knew her soul was older than mine. She is a very special child indeed. I can feel it every time I hold her. Every time I smell her sweet baby breathe. I wonder how I got so lucky as to help this beautiful child become the person she is intended. I feel blessed that I am her mom, however it came to be."

I had an Eslea in my belly!

Through our new circle of friends joined by an extra chormosome, I have met some of the most inspiring mothers through blogs, facebook and even in real life. I'm honored to be a part of our growing community that is teaching love and acceptance for everyone.
I hope that every single one of you had the fablous mother's day that you each deserve.

- erin

Worldless{ish} Wednesday: Dancing Queen

- Dancing Queen -

Mommy, introduce me.

Introduce you?

Yes mommy. I need to dance!

Well, excuse me. Ladies and Gentlemen, introducing..... Emma the Dancing Queen.

Mommy, you forgot about the music.

Oh, of course. La da da la la la.....

Mommy, don't forget my prince.

So sorry my Queen. Now introducing....Prince Jasey.

We are easily entertained around my house.
Happy Wednesday!
-erin

Barriers Beware

In the life of a high school counselor, time becomes a luxury as the end of the school year approaches. Tonight was Honor's Night at my work and I have the pleasure being the Honor's Night Coordinator. I'm exhausted. Somehow I managed to keep the program less than two hours even though this year more student names were added to the program. That's talent my friends.
Yet I'm not here to sing the praises of myself or the fabulous students with whom I work (although they totally deserve their praises to be shouted from a rooftop!). Because while I was there ever so proud for the lovely soon to be graduates, I was also thinking about Eslea. I know. It seems like such an odd time but it just popped into my head. The thought of Eslea in high school.
Will Eslea be invited to honors night?
Will she ever know the pleasure of being recognized for her academic achievements?
I never have these thoughts about Emma. My assumption is that Emma will graduate with honors, she will go to college, she WILL one day be the " PETerinarian" she dreams of becoming.

What about Eslea? I'm not so sure but I've said it before ...I will not be the one to set limits for her.

Yet how do we manage this? The fine line between pushing our kids to aim high while at the same time knowing there are goals that may not be possible for them? I know that this is true for all kids each with their own individual talents and skills. But with Eslea, it’s different. My worry is related more to the things that seem to come naturally for others; those life goals that just seem a given…graduating from high school, going to college, finding a successful career, marriage, having children. (That last one hurts the most.) How do you look such a sweet child in her face and tell her that she CAN NOT do one of those things? I won't do it. I just won't.

Most days I just enjoy HER. Her laughter. Her smile. Her sweet baby smell. Her enjoyment in yelling dadadadada at the top of her lungs. But some days, like today, I am reminded of what barriers may be placed before us in the future. I so desperately want to make those barriers disappear, yet there they are, waiting ever so still. Daring us to approach them and anticipating our response. So although I can not make the barriers move, for they are stubborn things, I will do whatever I can to help Eslea learn to conquer them when they cross her path. However she has to get past them, clawing, kicking, climbing, jumping or knocking them down. I’ll do my best to make sure she is ready.



It’s going to be a good week. Lots of training to do because those barriers are getting closer even if I stand still. We are starting with learning to crawl. Hey, sounds like a good fighting tool to me. Barriers Beware!

-erin