Showing posts with label the stupid things people say. Show all posts
Showing posts with label the stupid things people say. Show all posts

Friday, September 2, 2011

The Stupid Things People Say

Dear People Who Say Stupid Things,

It seems lately I have been surrounded by ignorance. Please forgive me for starting that way. But in all honesty, that is the feeling. Intelligent people saying ignorant things.
If you read my most recent facebook status, you will find this:

Seriously people...why must you continue to use the word "retard"? Why aren't you telling your friends to stop using the word? It makes smart people sound ignorant. Oh and yes..you did "mean it that way" just by using the word as a negative slang you "meant it that way".
In the course of five minutes, I found several of my facebook friends either using the r-word themselves or responding in a lighthearted way to someone on their wall that used the word. Skimming over the word like it was unnoticed or unimportant. Maybe it is to them. Maybe it's not important to you.
Just know, it matters to me and it matters to Eslea.


Whenever I take the time to point out to someone that they should not use that word because it is offensive to me, to my daughter, and to thousands of others, I tend to get the same response..."I didn't mean it that way".
Sigh.
People...the context in which you used the word clearly shows that you "meant" it that way.
That computer you just called "retarded"...I can bet you that it is not "slow in development". Which by the way is the actual definition of the word.
When you post on a picture the descriptive words "looks retarded", you are implying that someone looks less then "normal". That somehow a person that is "retarded" could not ever possibly look okay in a picture.
I would also say that people need to use that word carefully. Know the exact meaning and use it in the appropriate context. Using it in regards to your teacher (or boss, or ex boy friend) who you happen to dislike, is not correct. Quite frankly, unless you sat next to me in my intellectual assessment course...I would say you most likely are not going to ever use the word correctly. So  maybe you should just not use it at all.

To take the word and shorten it to "retard" basically says that you just denied that person of being a person. That cute little girl in pigtails is no longer a cute little girl. Nope, she  is a "retard".
Oh, but you didn't use that word in reference to her directly? Well please explain to me exactly who/what are you comparing whatever you just called a "retard" to?

I understand that words only have as much power as we give them.
This word, "retard",  has power. It no longer is used in reference to "delayed development". Instead it is used to imply that something is less then "normal" and perhaps unworthy or even...unnecessary.

Why am I on this kick today? Because I've heard it used way too much lately.
Around me. Around my Eslea. By Friends. By Students. By Family Members.
I understand it is a hard habit to break. But it is a habit that must be broken.
If you are old enough to have a facebook account with updated pictures and statuses, you are old enough to make the decision to not degrade an entire population of human beings with one derogatory word.

That is it. I have said my peace.
Just be warned....I run into people all the time that give me plenty of material to use under this same title post.

Since that is now off my chest (breathing out), it's time to enjoy the weekend.
Happy Friday people!!
-erin

Friday, April 29, 2011

The Stupid Things People Say

Sometimes I wish I lived in a perfect world for Eslea. One where the r-word is never used. One where everyone can see how beautiful and special she really is. How she is just like them. Just like you. Just like me. But I don't, not yet anyway. So still I have to face the harsh words and views almost daily of those who choose to still see people who are maybe a little different as something less.
I have written before about the use of the r-word at my school. Working around teenagers you hear many things and you learn to tune them out. You also learn to develop a hard shell when it comes to the words that can flow from an impulse driven teenager. Knowing that my super mom armor springs on quickly, along with one mighty fine cape, when I am faced with a need to defend my Eslea, I was very surprised at the reaction I had to a recent incident.
It was one rainy afternoon (yes, that's how I'm starting) and I again had the awesome duty of monitoring the cafeteria. Now let me tell you, if you have not had the wonderful opportunity of "duty" in the educational system, you are missing out my friends. (cough, cough) One of my senior students approaches me to discuss his graduation plan...or lack there of. Since transferring to our school system this student has made it known that he does not intend to graduate with his class but instead desires to return for a fifth year of high school. While we were discussing this he inquires what he will have to do during his fifth year in regards to exactly where he will be taking courses. Our school has a long standing policy that if a student can not finish in four years, he/she must attend alternative school during the fifth year. This prevents us from having 19-20 year-old students in the same classes with doe-eyed 14 year-old teenagers.
After explaining the policy to this student, he started to protest that although he is nineteen,  he wants to stay on campus to study. I explained that only in rare circumstances could that happen and he must speak with the principal. Again, he probed and I explained that some students needed extra time to finish high school and were allowed to do so by the state.

This is his response....
"Oh, you mean like special ed students. I can pretend to be special ed."
He then proceeds to beat his hand on his chest while crossing his eyes and making the "dur" sound.
Yes. My armor was full on by the end of his little act. Red cloak blowing in the wind and all. I was a sight to behold, yet somehow I managed to keep my emotions and heart under control. It must have been my armor. (I did manage to mend the hole that was made from the doctor's visit.)
I just gave him a faint smile and said calmly...
"Did you know that my baby who was born this past year has down syndrome?  I can assure you that she does not act that way."
I wish you could have seen his face. For about 10 seconds he was locked somewhere between a smile and shock. It was priceless. So wish I would have had my camera.


Learning how to say and do the right things in those moments is becoming easier. I am less quick to react and more likely to try assisting the person in learning. If I would have gotten mad, he would not have listened. Instead, I'm sure that it a lesson he will remember for many years to come.

This mama is proud to use her super powers for good. I can't wait till Eslea is bigger. We are going to make one awesome super team. Fighting ignorance one person at a time.

What about you and your little super family; how is your battle going in the war against ignorance?


The weekend is here and my family is taking a much needed break. Time for some rest and relaxation. Or, maybe if I can just get a few hours of sleep squeezed in between bathroom breaks, bottle fixing and washing that darn super cape. 

I can dream anyway.

Happy Friday!
-erin